I will preface this by saying that I was left by fiancé #1 and this post is a little triggerish for me. But I really want to reply in case something I say about my experience can help you and/or your fiancé.

No one can tell you what to do. You have said many negative things here, but none of us know the positive aspects of your relationship. Also, I would even caution you against going with your gut. Everyone goes through times of doubt and fear before getting married. You need to be able to step back from your emotions and look at the logical aspects of the situation too (this is one of the many ways that either individual or couples counseling can help.)

In my case, this is what happened. Fell madly in love with a guy, 13 mos later he proposed. Planned a wedding for 18 months later. After 13 months, out of the blue, he tells me it is over (5 months before the wedding). He apparently had many issues and concerns about the relationship that he never shared with me. He refused counseling because his mind was made up.

I was devastated. What followed was literally years of deep depression (which, although triggered by him leaving, had multiple causes) lasting decreased self confidence, and fears of being abandoned. It has been almost 10 years, lots of counseling, and I am about to get married to someone else and writing this still upsets me.

I say all this to urge you to really think this through before making a decision that could be very difficult for both of you. People are going to tell you that it is easier to get out now than after you are married. From a legal and financial standpoint this is true. However, don't kid yourself into thinking this will be easy on either of you.

Talk to your fiancee. Talk to a professional. Good luck whatever happens.

EJ