Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandoren
I'm not really interested in a relationship, but if I did have one, sex would be a total deal-breaker. Everyone is probably thinking 'what??' but I'm asexual and although some asexuals are sexually active, for me sexual intimacy would totally compromise the emotional love I had for a person rather than enhance it like it would for people of other orientations. I would want to express my feelings in other ways than physically (of which there are many ways).
I think in the end that sex itself in a relationship isn't as important as compatibility in a relationship- two people might both think sex is an important thing to share with someone you love, but if one person wants to do it every day and the other only once or twice a fortnight or something, there you have an incompatibility that might cause friction and frustration.
I also don't think that sex should be THE most important thing in a relationship and I get the feeling that a lot of my peers choose a partner based on sexual attraction rather than personality and then wonder why a) it doesn't work or b) they get cheated on. Modern society has taught a lot of people to put sex first or sex as something so important that if someone doesn't do it straight away or doesn't want it really often then it means they don't love you. While I understand that for people of other orientations sexual compatibility is important, perhaps its overall rating should be taken down a few pegs to allow people to actually get to know each other properly first.
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Pan,
Thanks for increasing my knowledge of asexuals generally. It was always something I wondered about.