Your father left you when you were six, and died when you were thirteen. Fathers are the role models for the men who follow.

I think that's the abandonment issue you are dealing with now. It has nothing to do with the man you are seeing, or the man you might be seeing in the future, it's all about your father.

I suggest you find a peer counselor or someone you can talk to about this, whether it be a therapist, psychologist, or even reading up on the subject. If you have never come to terms with the feelings you have inside you about how it made you feel when you were six and thirteen, then you need to take the time to express yourself. Perhaps starting a journal called "My Father: What he meant to me then, and what he means to me now."

You may have submerged these feelings because they are so painful. You may have put it out of your mind because you don't want to think about it.

Fathers are amazingly important in a girl's life, no matter what she tells herself. Fathers are our roots, our heritage, our sense of who we are.
You need to get to the bottom of all the feelings that lie dormant inside you regarding this issue. Until you do this, the men in your life will be playing out these issues for you, without even knowing it.

Choices, it's all about choices.