I'm just sorry you have to go through this. It is really unfair. I can understand the dilemma re whether to have an operation and I guess the only way forward is to weigh up the options. Obviously the impact on sex is the most horrible part. I understand what you mean about the painful erections and not being able to experience the pleasure of sex. I don't know what to say except I do hear you...I also understand why you'd feel the need to distance yourself from potential girlfriends. The thing is, and this might sound a bit trite, the right person will like you for who you are. I know how lame that sounds but I know someone who is 100% bedridden and incontinent and she met her husband while being transfered to a hospital just after her abusive husband left her. Her new husband was the taxi driver. She can't have sex at all - she is way too ill. Yet her husband loves her for who she is. I know it all sounds hopeless but I do think that given the right circumstances there will be someone out there for you - who recognises your struggle and sees past the sex issues. But I guess it's not much consolation and it doesn't take away the pain and hopelessness you're feeling. And of couse it doesn't take away the fact you want to experience sex and should be able to. I wish it was different for you and I hope it will be later on.

Anyway, you're not alone. Hang in there and keep posting if you want to.