ugh granite. i hate your mother SO MUCH. SHE is the one that made you hate yourself. My T explained it this way: Parents are everything to children; literally for survival. So when parents neglect/abuse their children, the child HAS to figure out a way to not blame the parent--because then it would be unbearable/they would die. That is how children think. So in order to be able to still live, they put the blame on themselves. They internalize whatever their parents were telling them, and most likely lies.

I hope one day you get the strength to cut off your mother--because I have yet to see any redeeming qualities.

I read your post, and I think you did wonderfully. Everything Rainbow said is very true. You are doing so so so so great with this T. I am very proud!! I also hope you can show her your drawings. They are absolutely wonderful and say so much just in images.