A few weeks ago, I happened to remember a therapist I saw about 20 or so years ago and got into contact with him again. I met with him today to ask him some questions about my therapy with him and issues to help me piece some things together. He was so nice and gracious and remembered numerous details that blew my mind. He didn't even have my records - but he's going to try to find them for me.

He told me things I had no idea of, things I did, and said - none of it I remembered. Apparently, I had some pretty neat skills, so that is good to hear. Hard to imagine, but nice to hear. He said there were names, but he could only remember one and I asked him not to tell me - just couldn't take that. He said she was the therapist for the group. He said that I wrote an extensive paper on MPD/DID and knew many details about it. I have no recall of that. My undergrad and grad years are pretty much blank. He said he diagnosed me with DID and that he and I discussed it quite a lot. He said that he saw me make improvement and feels that something has triggered this latest episode of spiraling downward.

So now....to trust this or not? I have this part of me saying that none of this can be true..that everything I'm going through right now is just ridiculous, that I just need to get it together, and snap into shape. I just don't know. It's scary honestly. I just keep thinking everything is normal, everything is okay, I'm okay, it's all okay, nothing's wrong, nothing was ever wrong, just something is not right with my brain is all.

I finally wrote down on a piece of paper about being previously diagnosed with a dissociative disorder and gave it to my present T.

I've given permission for the 2 of them to talk if needed.

I just hope that this is okay. I have big concerns over this and whether this is the right course of action to delve into this.