I'm going to send this email. I have calmed down, so I'm thinking more rationally (responding rather than reacting).

T,

I apologize in advance for emailing, especially on the weekend, but I really hope you'll reply. I'm really upset. I've been crying off and on since leaving {T's practice}. Something I *believe* you said during session really bothers me. I want to ensure I am not misinterpreting your words or that you misunderstood me, especially considering I finally made the decision to trust you to tell you my story. I know you believe the Bible is the inerrant word of God. You know I respect that. You also know I do not share that belief. I hope you respect that.

When I talked about the affair, I said it made me feel I was a horrible person. You helped me see that I was not. I said that it was during that time in my life that I self-injured and was diagnosed bipolar and borderline. You said that is what sin will do to a person. It was the next statement I *think* I remember you saying that bothers me: you don't present that way anymore, which is not the way God intends for us to live.

I *think* you were referring to my being bisexual. However, I hope you were not. You made that statement and what I heard, once again, "Inherently, who you are as a person is wrong."

I know you believe homosexuality is wrong because you told me about 7-8 months ago. You say I don't present myself that way anymore. Actually, I still identify as bisexual. I don't shout it from the mountaintops, but if the subject comes up, I tell people that I am. Not a "reformed" or "healed" bisexual; an actual bisexual. I am bisexual. Maybe I don't look obviously gay because I am married and no longer go through spells in which I dress in male clothing. I made a choice six years ago to stay in my marriage for better or for worse. I love my husband and want my marriage to work. In my eyes and heart, what made me a horrible person was not the fact that I acted on my bisexuality; it was that I chose to have an affair two weeks after getting married and that I decided to continue the affair for five years despite what I was putting H, ex-GF, and myself through.

When I asked you what if I didn't want a relationship with God, it was actually a rhetorical question. I do want a relationship with God. I believe I accepted Christ at the age of 14, ran away from Him at age 23, and rededicated my life at age 31. I have problems with faith; always have. I want someone (you) to help me explore those issues, but someone who will truly respect me no matter what I decide. If I do not "repent" of my bisexuality, will you still respect me or will you think I'll always have something inherently wrong with me and I'll never heal?

Please don't be another one of those people in my life. Please tell me I'm wrong, T. This hurts so much.

Chopin