I'm feeling really bad today.

I was accused of doing something that I didn't do, and although the thing itself isn't a major thing it has brought up some issues for me.

My abusers often blamed me for things I didn't do so they would have more excuses to abuse me. In fact, everything was always my fault. It was my fault for being born. I was always the scapegoat.

It was my fault they hit be and beat me. It was my fault that they did other bad things to me. If they started to feel guilt they hit me more because everything was my fault. If they harmed my pets or the other things I loved, it was my fault because I was a bad evil little girl. I "asked for it".

I'm tired of everyone thinking I am responsible. I am trying to teach myself and t is helping, that I wasn't a bad little girl, and everything is not my fault. I have to watch myself that I don't blurt out "I'm sorry" for things that have nothing to do with me. That was always my automatic response because I thought that it wouldn't be so bad if I said I was sorry for daddy and the others doing the bad things to me. It never made things better, and I wont say it anymore.

I will not be the scapegoat any longer.