Hi Lilith,
Please, take your insulin. It scared me when I read that you didn't want to take it. Talk to your doctor if you feel it's not helping you. That is very serious. Please, be careful.
I hope you realize you have such a beautiful family because you DID raise them and you have helped them probably in more ways then you will ever realize but that's probably all apart of your beauty. You do kind things for people without even realizing it and without marking a "you owe me card" so you forget about all the things you do and now you're not giving yourself credit for it.
I hope you feel better.