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Originally Posted by Trippin2.0
Just wanted you tn know I relate, also with the contradictary thingy. What counts in my favour is that I'm very self aware and introspective. Sometimes I have a habit of shoving feelings I just can't deal with atm but that hardly ever ends well, by the time I question it, I'm all over the place. A clear emotion that comes easy is anger tho, but upon reflection I realize that I'm actually hurt or scared and anger's just easier to deal with. I'm into omission right now coz confusing people frustrate me...
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Yeah, it's the same for me with the anger. It's a defense, but it's also really destructive. So I'm trying to rein in the anger and inhibit the lighting of that fuse while I try to trace the real feelings that the anger is masking/protecting.
When something major happens that I can't cope with, I lock it up and throw it in the "cellar". Later, when I'm out of the crisis, I will try to slowly face the feelings I've suppressed. The process takes forever and is very unpleasant, but the alternative is meltdown.