Flaw or gap in the thinking! The other person gets to be part of the going away; they may be leaving for their own "dumb" purposes, not having anything at all to do with you! What if you are cheerful, kind, generous and loving and that reminds them what degenerates they feel themselves to be by contrast and they slink away; that's not your fault!

I use to have a person on one of these boards back 10-15 years ago that drove me crazy and I couldn't stand. However, I did not like how I responded to their posts (never mind how they responded to mine :-) so I decided to think, "What if they are right and I am wrong?" before responding to them. Having to put myself in their frame of mind, pretend I was them, helped a great deal!

We don't know what other people are thinking or their motives for what they do unless we actually ask them and talk to them and interact with them and let them be themselves and leave them "alone" to think and feel however they do without making it about us ("They hurt me!" No they didn't, you are hurt but your feelings are all your own based on what is going on inside of you, not coming from them). Deciding for them how they think/feel based on how we think and feel just gets us into a vicious inner circle of incorrect thinking where we don't get any information from outside, the true source, the other person?