(((vonnegutsedge)))

I agree with Perna, that finding out exactly when the other relationship occurred would be helpful. What was happening in your lives at that time? Were you rarely around one another, busy with work, in the hospital,...?

If it was somewhat recent, and not real different than it is now, I'd be real concerned. Personally, my self-esteem is too low as it is. If I were to find out that my bf had a 2-3 month long affair, I would not be able to take it without blaming & hating myself even more than I already do. That would be hell! It sounds like that's where you're at yourself.

Thankfully, I haven't ever been cheated on, so I can only hypothesize. If you aren't already in therapy, I'd recommend that you start going. Having emotional support would be very helpful for you. You don't deserve the self-blame. You need to develop self-love and acceptance ~ that will give you the strength that you need to avoid painful relationships and experiences like what you find yourself in right now.

Gentle hugs sent your way...