Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
We don't know what other people are thinking or their motives for what they do unless we actually ask them and talk to them and interact with them and let them be themselves and leave them "alone" to think and feel however they do without making it about us ("They hurt me!" No they didn't, you are hurt but your feelings are all your own based on what is going on inside of you, not coming from them). Deciding for them how they think/feel based on how we think and feel just gets us into a vicious inner circle of incorrect thinking where we don't get any information from outside, the true source, the other person?
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Thank you for pointing this out Perna. This is so true. I project so much into/onto other people, it is just automatic. Even when I see that I'm projecting, I still have trouble envisioning anything other than disdainful thoughts coming from the other person. I just realized in fact that I told my T what I expect he would be thinking about me given my rut of negativity in therapy. He insisted he didn't think that...but now thinking on it, he didn't tell me what he WAS thinking so it's still a vacuum and I am just filling it up with other bad stuff. I don't think simple erasure works. I think it has to be replaced by something else.