I have had difficulties going to the bathroom since I was about 2 and my mother was hospitalized and I became un-toilet trained and my father used enemas on me. When I was seven, in 2nd grade, my father went overseas for nearly a year and I had very great difficulties which my stepmother treated harshly (even having bowel movements in the classroom and having the teacher "sniff" them out).

Now, at age 61, I still mostly go to the bathroom in the middle of the night when it is "safe" and no one will "know" or yell at me, etc. I have a heck of a time with doctors and peeing-on-demand and was yelled at by a technician when I was hospitalized and could not empty my bladder to give a good sonogram scan.

I know where you are coming from! Be kind to yourself.