I came clean. Asked about everything. I'll list things as bullets since it would be so much to write.

Before I told her that I'd been reading her emails, I asked abt her ex BFs.

While counting them, she mentioned his name as a "8 month, not serious relationship".

They never dated. It was sex for him from day 1, it was feelings for her from day 1.

She did not mention they were f-buddies and she slept with him in an out for 5 years, last being summer 2011, right before meeting me.

Still not a word about emails, I asked if she's in touch with any of them. She said no. I asked again, no contact again? She said no.

I asked her to tell me abt Mr. X

She said what do you want to know?

I said, whatever I should know.

No, ask questions.

If there's something I should know about him for the sake of our relationship, I would like you to tell me.

No I wont.

Here I confessed reading her emails. I apologized profoundly and said I wasn't proud of it, I regretted it so much but it happened and I couldn't un-see what I read. I said I violated her privacy but I hadn't been comfortable with that, so I wanted to come clean.

She didn't look so mad. She asked what I read.

I said everything from emails to chat logs.

She said she's completely over him.

I asked why she's been blocking / unblocking him for the past week.

She said she was not doing anything.

I said I wasn't a fool.

She said she didn't know why she was doing it.

Do you still have feelings for him?

No.

I can't judge you for your past. You did whatever you thought was right. We all make mistakes, or thing that we aren't proud of. I saw those emails 2 months ago but I've still been with you, instead of judging you by your past. I have no problems with your past, but when you extend someone from your past into our relationship, I have to weigh in and say what's going on.

After all talk, she doesn't have an answer why she's still keeping him in her contact list. She just says that they don't talk and she has no feelings for him.

She has no answer to why she's been blocking - unblocking him for the past week, and she can't give me a reason to do that.

She said we're most likely through.

I asked her to tell me a reason as to why we end this relationship. Is it because I read her email, or is it because she has feelings for him and now I know about it.

She doesn't know why. She's upset because I read her email and she says "how can I trust you now".

My answer is; well, I came clean, I didn't have to. That's the only thing I've done wrong past 6 months. You can change your password, put password to your computers, ask me not to use them, I won't touch them. That's the remedy for your email security. I'm not telling you that you should do this, but this can be done. What about me? How can you assure me that you're not over this guy? You lied to me about him, and you can't give me a straight answer about why you're still fiddling with him.

She doesn't have an answer for me.

I left her place at night and spent the night at my place.

She removed me from her FB and other social media stuff.

This morning she emailed me to go and pick up my stuff.

I went there, took her coffee and told her that I wasn't mad, I was just disappointed.

We spoke more. Told her that the only single problem is her keeping him on her chat list.

Asked her if he's still in her list. She said yes. I asked if she has deleted me since he took me off her FB. She said she did.

So I'm off her chat list, he's still there.

I said "this thing is costing you a relationship that you considered serious". And yet I'm still the one got removed.

She has no explanation. She says she was pissed.

I told her that she's on the wrong way. This is costing her a relationship and I hope it won't cost more.

I also said "It's not normal for someone who talks about future, kids, where to live, what kind of house to buy etc, but at the same time have a situation like this going on".

I'm not sure if she understood.

I took my stuff and left her place.

Although she says she doesn't have anything for him, she has no explanation for what she's been doing.

I told her "he was man enough to tell you that he's involved with someone and he doesn't want you to contact him". You did not do the same. You had the chance to. On top of that, I asked you to cut anyone off. You did not.

She defended him by saying "yeah but then he wrote me".

I said "Well, we all know why he wrote you. he was out of the relationship, he needed relaxation".

At some point, she also said "he always got the best of me, I liked him a lot, I wanted to tell him that I was in a relationship and I was happy".

But she had chances to say it. She did not.

I asked her "as a woman, how can somebody go and sleep with a man who clearly tells her that he's not into her but he would do her"... For 5 years in and out.

She said, just like how men pick up girls at a bar.

Well, men pick up girls at a bar based on sexuality. Man knows what will happen that night, woman know what will happen that night. They sleep, in the morning they don't know each other. If they're lucky, they meet a couple of times more and that's it. In some cases, it may turn into a relationship, but if it doesn't they usually go separate ways.

In her case, the guy wasn't into her at all. He wanted sex. She liked him and slept with him.

I asked how she can go back and have feelings for him, after she put 2 serious relationships in between. Since her emails clearly stated that she still has feelings for him. I mean, cmon. You have feelings, fine. But you put a 2-year relationship in between...Obviously you have feelings for that guy too, otherwise you wouldn't spend 2 years with him. After that, how can you go back and have feelings for this guy again? I'm not getting this part. The only explanation is "he was always there and he'll always be".

So this is my weekend.

I'm disappointed rather than sad.

Everything's fresh now and I don't really know if this is the best for us. Time will tell.

Thank you for all the responses.