Hi Jax thank you for responding here. I am extremely self conscious talking with people. For starters I have bad teeth and its real hard to hide that and talk. Then later if I have talked I will hear snide little remarks.. it has happened so many times and I thought these were friends and understood my issues and I was there to be supportive of my man and 99% of the time I would sit alone and that is pretty much how it has been for many years. I can't just get up and start walking around (my health) I can't drink (they will all be doing that and more. It also worries me to go to these parties because of the drugs I do take. I don't tell anyone what I take because I found out then they all want a piece of it.. no way. Anyhow I also have gained so much weight that I have 1 outfit to wear that everyone sees when I do get out and its rather embarassing... okay am I just making excuses to not go.. maybe but I have been in this situation so many times and its no fun to be at a party where you know no one and then sit alone all night long nursing a soda that you don't even like... It is really really hard and I don't know what to do. honestly I feel more frustrated than I ever had. It also scares me that if this party gets busted then there goes my hubbys' career and my meds which are highly watched over. I could just see my doc not believing me when I say I don't do recreational drugs, but everyone else there is except my hubby who also doesn't imbibe in any recreational drugs or even much drinking. Its really frustrating sorry about rambling, I am scared to death here and I am unsure too unsure of myself...... Thanks for caring enough here to even read and answer. Linda