I'm jumping in a bit late on this thread.....but have several things to say about it.
First......
I believe that our bodies are the temple of God....when we believe, the Holy Spirit is within us to guide us through this life. Therefore, it is not our place to damage, hurt our bodies in any way & definitely NOT to kill. This goes for the elderly or the mentally ill as Hitler chose to do during his time or ruling in Germany. Given that belief, I believe that each person is to live until God naturally takes them to their eternal home to be with him.
That said.........I have to admit that from around 1995 - 2000, I can't even remember how many suicide attempts I actually had even though these were my beliefs.
Quote:
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Suicide is being so sure of yourself that you're obviously no longer human. And people who give up their humanity are confined in hospitals. Until they regain their humanity. Which means understanding and accepting that none of us, none of us at all, know what the rest of our lives will offer us, whether we will have pain or pleasure in our futures, whether what we're going through right now is permanent or temporary.
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I did not go into those attempts with any sureness.....I honestly went into them with no thought at all about anything other than I no longer wanted to deal with the issues I was dealing with & saw no way out other than suidice. I had a daughter in high school at the time......I am sure that my suicide attempts must have really messed her up at the time.....I thank God that we have a much better relationship now & there is love between us & she knows that my attempts had absolutely NOTHING to do with her. They had much to do with the loss of my career & the bad marriage I was in with her father.....but that fact about her father is not something I share with her. I definitely agree that at the time we are making the attempt on our life, we don't even look into the future to think that there may be better times ahead because the now feels so bleak that there is no desire even if there were better times ahead to have to wait until then.
God choose to keep me alive in spite of myself as there were several times or more that I should have NOT made it through alive. There was a greater purpose for my life that I definitely could not have possibly known.....one was protecting my mother from the home care person that was involved in her life when she was dying of cancer. I managed to keep the damage she did at a minimum....kept her from cashing the checks she wrote, I think I kept her from getting my mom to actually give her the house.....but I wasn't able to keep her from OD'ing my mom on her morphine but was able to get my mother to a safe place so that she could die in peace. At that time I had no idea that I could sell my mothers house & use that money to get as far away from my husband as possible & start my own new life with it & by a farm that I have wanted all my life......let alone find wonderful new friends in a place where I started out knowing NO ONE......& the best part of the move was getting into a place where my belief in God could change into a real relationship which is what God wants from us in the first place.
Yes, if I had been successful, I would have never had the chance to enjoy the wonderful life I have now which is even more wonderful than having the career I always wanted to have from the time I can remember.
Remember, this is one person's path through the darkness of suicide along with my beliefs......they were definitely in direct conflict with each other....but at the time, the conflict never entered my mind because I really didn't care. Interesting this journey we call our life & the winding path it takes.