I know the pain you feel. You would feel better even if she had offered an apology...for not protecting you...for not stopping it. A child's love for her parent is so strong. But years of neglect and feeling uncared for can errode that love. I dont speak to my mother anymore. She was a dirt magnet and married five pedophiles...all of whom molested me...raped me...beat me...and she stood by allowing it to happen. I was saved by the state of Maryland who removed me from my home at age 15. This had been going on since I was three. Don't feel guilty about wanting to end the relationship with your mother. Did you know that my mother keeps a picture of the man who molested me for 7 years prominately displayed on her entryway table? That hurts. I cant inagine why a rational person would do that.
Your mother is a "poisionous" person to you. It is perfectly fine in my humble opionion to end your relationship.
Ending it for me has not made my hatred for my mother disappear. I think my hatred for her is a self defense mechanism...keeping her away from me ...she cannot hurt me or allow others to hurt me. I am a woman now...not a little girl anymore...but those memories are just as fresh as if they happened yesterday. And it still infuriates me...especially because I am a mother and have a mothers love for my children thaat she didnt protect me from harm. That IS a mothers job...in addition to loving and providing for...and setting a good moral example.
Do what is in your heart to do. Maybe some time and space will allow you to heal better.
I wanted you to know that your post touched me. You remind me so much of myself. Except my mother stayed with the last one till he died. thank god she never remarried. she probably would have married another one.
I'm so sorry that you hurt. I know the kind of pain you feel.
take care of you
Lorieann