Going to a new therapist is about you, Lola, and what you want and need out of therapy, right now. You sought out a new therapist because the previous relationship was not helpful; in fact, it was painful and felt hurful and damaging to your mental health. The reasons your x therapist thought the relationship didn't work doesn't matter at this moment in time. I sincerely believe that your new therapist needs to spend a bit of time, just the two of you, exploring your wants, needs and goals for therapy. It's a time for you both to find your balance and connection. Talking about what was painful for you in the previous relationship is good stuff but it doesn't need to be contaminated by your x therapist's thoughts and ideas about what didn't work. Those are her views. Your new therapeutic relationship is about how you think, view and feel about that relationship.

I just don't fully understand why he wants to talk to your x therapist before he's even been able to form some kind of relationship with you. Why would he need information from a previous therapist that was NOT a good relationship? He needs to spend time with you first. . . and if at a later point, if you decide it might be helpful for you to examine and talk about what happened in that relationship, that's the time for you new therapist to say, "Let's explore this a bit more. How about I request a phone call or material from your previous therapist and you and I can look at it and talk about it." The new relationship with this guy is more important than what your old therapist has to say, in my opinion anyway.