I am to the point I am done with pdocs and medication. I have had 4 different ones and none of them can get my medication right so Im done trying. I have had no peace of mind, no easy feeling, no comfort in years since before I ever started medication. Yes I did go through my cycles but I atleast felt something other than the sadness and pain depression brings. I am trying to wean myself off my medications now and am considering not even going to my appointment Monday with the pdoc. He doesnt listen to me, he doesnt realize how much the side effects bother me. He doesnt care, so why should I even go. I am just so upset. Right now Im sitting here having brain shocks from reducing my zoloft. I just realized I havent been happy in so long and I have been teetering with thoughts of suicide daily for the past couple of months. When this doesnt bother a pdoc nothing will. He just puts me on more heavy *** drugs and sends my back to my couch. Im completely off the seroquel and am working on going off the zoloft next will be tegretol and geodon. I just cant get right on meds.
Is this normal for pdocs? Maybe hes just giving up on me who knows. He does know when I say I want to die, I mean business. He is the doctor who saw me in the psych ward the last time I attempted it after the hospital released me to them.
Im just done...