T

I've basically been told that feeling mildly irritated is not an okay emotion in my own home. I feel trapped because I can't afford to leave home while I'm studying, because my animals are the only thing that keep me sane and I couldn't flat with them even if I could afford it...and so I feel trapped somewhere that I'm not comfortable.

As long as I don't want anything, as long as I don't ask for anything, as long as I don't show any emotion...it's okay. I'm going to try not to want or ask for anything or display any emotions. If that's what it takes.

I guess I just wanted to tell you how hard this is for me. Particularly after the way my last appointment with you ended. You're the only stable person I have. You are the only person that I can reply on. But do I still have you? You told me that you shouldn't be the one who works the hardest...but I'm doing my best. I was doing my best. If my best isn't good enough?

Night.