Do you ever find it difficult to explain the therapeutic relationship to someone who has not been in therapy? My therapist and I have a mutual friend. I probably see this friend more than she does. It is awkward at times when I talk about therapy around this friend. She has a totally different relationship with my therapist than I do.

You may say, "Why do you bring up therapy when with this friend?" This friend is part of a women's support group that I go to twice a month. There are only 3 of us, so it is very intimate and close. We talk about life issues, family, children, etc..........so therapy stuff comes up in those conversations. I often feel bad if I say something about my therapist that might come across as mean. She has actually asked me before why I thought some things about my therapist. Like, "What makes you think she has a perfect life?"

My husband doesn't understand it at all. He thinks I am mean to my therapist at times. I probably am. I get angry with her, mad at her, upset with her many times! That is just part of therapy. I told him that a therapist somewhat 'pushes your buttons' to get you to talk about things you don't want to talk about. You never know what your reaction will be when that happens.

So, bottom line is this. How can you explain this to someone who doesn't get it? I am not sure that I even get it! Why do I feel so different about my therapist than I would about any other professional I may see? I wouldn't think a thing about one of them holding my hand or touching me. But if she did, I may freak out! Maybe that is because that is a boundary for many therapists. If she actually touched me, it would seem scary to me. Then again, I actually want her to touch me (hug or hold my hand)just to see what that would feel like. Does this make any sense?

I feel close to my therapist, but distant at the same time. Sometimes I look at her and think she is a stranger. Other times I look at her and think she is more like my sister. Can't say that she seems like a friend because that would sure break the boundary line!