Abby, another thought here; have you set impractical high goals for yourself and are disappointed in yourself for not attaining them? Some folks dream beyond their capabilities and expect more from themselves; causing failure. If this were the case, then this might be why you are self berating.

Also address this shame and guilt you mentioned. Was this caused by yourself, or did someone hoist this upon you? If you were brought up with parenting that seemed to be shaming you a lot, making you feel guilty when the error was slight. I know my mother was very much into shaming myself and my siblings. Little in praising anything we did, but acting as though we did not matter much....which by neglect makes one
feels shamed. Not feeling like we deserve much. Just tossing out some ideas here Abby; do take care. Hugs, bj