I know exactly how you feel. I remember random clips from my past that I now interpret as really ****ed up for my age. I remember random clips, but I can't recall the context. I've asked my Mother if I was sexually abused but she would never say. And I KNOW I have had hallmark behaviour of a victim since I was a child, but... Some things are just really hard to sort through. Hopefully if you tell a therapist about it, you can find some validation. You may not be able to know for sure, but you can come to your own conclusions you can be happy with.