Obviously to love, honor, and cherish doesn't mean nothing to his partner if he is trying to subdue him into avoiding sexual expression.

Why you would marry someone you couldn't be sexually satisfied with is beyond me, or marry someone who wants complete sexual control over you.

So yes, I would encourage a divorce at this point. People divorce after 10, 20, 30 years, it's a very common thing. He's been married for four years, but just married to a man ten years older then he.