Switch, I felt this way too when I was younger. I almost got into prostitution -- got involved with an older man who knew a lot of men who wanted that innocent little girl look I had. I wanted to be beaten, raped, abused, told what to do. Felt much better to me than being with someone nice, gentle, or caring.

I think once you start feeling better about yourself that starts to change and you realize you don't deserve it..that you deserve good things and kind people in your life.

I hope you feel better.