i've also noticed that i tend to think more now..before i disclose. i kept the tests secret, as i did the engagement. i've decided that when i feel trust, then i'll disclose. until i feel it, i'm keeping it to myself. i am not comfortable with that attitude but i am comfortable with protecting myself.

many of you will remember my friend, Dale, who hurt me at Christmas time. i told you that i was wary of having him in my life again and i was right. and i seriously do believe that it is a problem that perhaps stems from his family life. his parents died the same year and there are other sad things going on now. however.............that being said........... this time, enough of you have pointed out some very good things that i wasn't seeing and i probably won't be in contact with him after i leave Oklahoma. i will miss him a lot. i just don't think that friendship can be a one way street. i needed the support when i disclosed my illness..especially that one. and if he couldn't handle that....couldn't he have been happy over Bill? hmmmmmmmmmmmm thanks to each and everyone of you that responded. i've spent a lot of time re-reading the posts and soaked up a lot of love and support. xoxoxo pat