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Old Mar 12, 2012, 02:19 PM
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Elana05 Elana05 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2010
Location: Where the mountain meets the city
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doggiedo View Post
The past two weeks things have been going down hill very fast.
I cannot stand to look at myself in the mirror - I feel disgusting and am repulsed by myself.
I don't want to get into specifics, but my eating habits are not good. I am not restricting, but I wish I would. I hate to admit it, but I'd rather be starving right now than feel as ugly as I do.
Within the past two weeks I have felt like noone cares. Everyone is ultimately out for themselves. Let's face it, noone cares that I'm feeling down. I'm all on my own. I absoluetly hate myself. I even tried to self harm, but just scratched the surface, so I couldn't even get that right.
I don't know what to do...where to turn or even if it's worth it.
Sending supportive thoughts your way.
I'm so sorry to hear you are in such pain right now.
I can relate in that at the worst of my depression I could not/did not want to ever look in the mirror.
This does sound like severe anxiety and depression. I hope you will seek out some help. Are you seeing a therapist now? If yes, then I urge you to call that person and if no then I hope you will try and find someone right away. I know the feeling of hurting so much that the idea of self-harm is the only thought. Please believe me that it is truly a good thing that you were unable to cut yourself. These thoughts are the depression talking. The depression will tell you very clearly that you are "not worth anything" or are "taking up too much space." But I hope you will hear me when I tell you this is not true. Again, this is the disease of depression talking. If you are scared or feel that you might try and harm yourself I hope you'll call a hotline: 800-273-8255.
We are here to listen too.
The way out of these horrible feelings are mainly though therapy and medication. Please be kind to yourself. You did not ask to be born, but we all have a right to live here on this planet. Sending many hugs your way.
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Keep this in mind, that you are important.
Thanks for this!
doggiedo