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Old Mar 12, 2012, 02:58 PM
exhale_1978 exhale_1978 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2012
Posts: 2
I can relate to that as well. I do not complete avoid people or social situations. Its just that when I get in some social situation i just get blindsided at random by these intense paralyzing feelings of fear. I cant talk freely and i start to hyper ventilate. All it is is conversation but my fight or flight mode kicks in and i just want to run. i dont like myself because of these 20 plus year struggle to just feel confident and relax around others. i am not warm and open, people invite me over, i dont invite them. I just want to be in control of myself. I was not growing up with a very emotional abusive and lacking family life. We never talked to each other, and if i did, my father would criticize me. He raised some very low self esteem kids, i see it in my brother and sister.

sometimes when im around people and i start to freeze up while they look all relaxed in front of me i feel like an idiot.

Why do I freeze up? I am unsure if that person will like me, I read into everything they say or do to see if they like me. Constant critical thoughts in my head keeep me from liking myself. I instead judge myself and keep myself chasing a carrot on a string. never satisfied.
Hugs from:
la doctora
Thanks for this!
justaSeeker, Onward2wards