View Single Post
 
Old Mar 12, 2012, 03:25 PM
mcl6136's Avatar
mcl6136 mcl6136 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,082
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snuffleupagus View Post
I don't hate your T, but I can tell you this. She is not right. I had something of an emotional breakdown back when prop. 8 was voted in in CA--feelings of anger, sadness, rejection by my community. I was crying with a friend about it, and the words that popped out were, ” What if they're right?”

I realized every negative thing I heard about myself in my church while I was growing up was being reactivated by my current experience. I made sure to surround myself with supportive loving people who could confirm for me that my sexuality was normal, healthy, and god-given.

My concern for you is that however much your T keeps mum about her beliefs concerning gayness, she can never give you that kind of support because she doesn't believe it's true.

If I were you, I would seriously consider the idea that part of her appeal to you is that she confirms your repressed internalized homophobia. Because god knows that stuff doesn't just go away because we want it to or because we mouth self-accepting attitudes. Just something to consider.
definitely something to consider. I wish that I had taken more time to ask myself..."what is the appeal of this T...and is it something that confirms and sustains a GREAT part of me that I would like to heighten, or is it something else? Am I chasing positive feedback from someone who will never give it to me...and paying for same?"

I have no wisdom here....Just woulda coulda shoulda.