i've been good for the last couple of months but over the past week i haven't been feeling that well. i saw my T tuesday and she thought that i would be under a lot of stress atm b/c i've just moved flats (the girls in the first place were horrible to me) and i'm the holidays in a few weeks but in the holidays i'm going back home to visit family which means i hafta deal with my mother and i just can't stand her. she is bi-polar and refuses to seek help at all and i know it's an illness but she will not make an effort to do anything about it. and i just don't wanna see her again b/c i had sooo many probs as a teenager and i'm doing a good job of putting it all behind me and i just don't wanna go back and sleep in the room where i lay as a 15year old contemplating suicide and self-harming and writing morbid poems about death. i wish i had grown up in a different family with a mother who could have been there for me. i wish i could just put it all behind me and not have to work at keeping my depression at bay. just today i was thinking i hate this whole planet, this whole world b/c it just keeps screwing me over when i try so hard. i wish my spaceship would come and collect me and take to another galaxy, b/c this one is just too cruel and furstrating...sorry to rant, just having a bad day