I have also felt "smaller" at times when T made a comment I thought was telling me my problems were not problems. I started to learn how to share with my T what I thought right when he said it. But he is GREAT about seeing my face change and asking me "what just happened there?"

For example, one session we were talking about feeling broken inside. He told me about a client of his who is a famous singer and appears to have it all together, but he is "the most broken person I have ever met." He didn't tell me who it was, and I didn't ask. But that hit me hard when I heard it. T asked "Ok what just happened?"
I told him how what I heard in my feelings was "You are not as broken as my other client, so he needs me more than you do. Also he is famous, so I would rather spend my time and energy helping him heal instead of working with someone who is a "nobody" in this world."

Yes. That is how I heard it. When I told my T what I heard, his mouth dropped open. He hardly EVER has done that, but he did this time. Then he thanked me for sharing with him how I heard his comments. Then he clarified for me what he really wanted me to understand - that people in all walks of life can be very wounded and broken, but others who look at them from the outside may not have a clue about the pain.

I was SOOOOOOO glad that I spoke up and trusted him enough to share what I heard because it stopped a whole ton of agony which would have followed that night and into the following weeks.

It is very important to learn HOW to trust T enough in session to communicate to them how we hear the things they say. And while it is tough to do at first, it really helps practicing in session doing this because it gets easier. And it gives us the tools we need to communicate better in other parts of life.