I have a lot of trouble with all of this... I feel like you don't feel like what you did was that bad compared to her relationship with this guy, so that you feel justified in your snooping. I also get the feeling that you have a "I'm right, you're wrong" attitude about the whole thing. What's more, you're coming clean was really just a mind game and not a very fair one. You put her in a lose lose situation. You knew before you even went into that conversation that you were going to break up. It didn't matter whether or not she told the whole truth or only things she felt comfortable sharing. I think she felt compelled to break up with you simply to take back the control over her life that she lost when you went on your digging expedition. Personally, I think you're the one that threw this relationship away because of your insecurities and your desire to have control over her body and mind and your inability to accept her past which, by the way, made her into who you fell in love with.

I'm not trying to paint this woman as a saint. She did have an unhealthy relationship with this guy, and could probably use a little therapy to help her figure out what was causing her to accept that behavior from him. But you seem to be looking down and judging her, and not giving her a chance to prove that she deserves and wants better than that. You really didn't try to have a honest, calm, non-confrontational conversation with her; you attacked her about something from her past. Of course there are things she could have done differently, but those were her choices to make, not yours to force upon her.

I'm sorry if I"m coming off harsh. I just have a lot of trouble with the way you treated her and the situation. I'm sorry. I really hope that you are able to really take a look at your part in all of this, honestly and truly, and don't just brush this off as all on her.