Lately I've been caught up with thinking about being raped which was almost 4 years ago. I never had the chance to properly deal with it nor have I healed from it. Also some time before & after the rape I've experienced some form of sexual abuse...never dealt with that either. I've been having these dreams, not about my attacker, but different people attacking me. Just had a dream about 2 hrs ago & I'm very bothered. I don't know how to deal with this. I feel numb yet scared & worried.

I'm paranoid & constantly think, practically waiting, to be attacked again (not that I want it to). I just always felt that this has been a never ending cycle & it's bound to happen again. I feel nothing worth more than a person that gets taken advantage of. People around me joke about rape & I can't even speak up to say that it makes me uncomfortable. I feel like this is going to haunt me for the rest of my life & I will forever be struggling to get over this. How does one accept that this is something that they will live with, not live everyday in fear, & learn to move on?