Gentle hugs to you CgRgSm,

I'm sorry that you're feeling SO miserable and hopeless. I've felt that way a few times in life and it isn't ever fun or easy. Those are the times when I need real help.

Seeing a doctor for medications; talking with a Therapist; that's the beginning to feeling just a little bit better. A little less miserable ~ and as time passes, things continue to slowly improve. Losing hope is my cue that I need more intense treatment. That's when I've gone into the hospital.

I wish you the best ~ please do reach out for professional help to get into a better state of mind.