At first I didn't really understand why I wanted her to be angry with me, but I think my experience echoes a lot of other people's here. I wanted her to "validate," or agree with the anger I feel toward myself. It feels much more congruent to have the outside match the inside. And I wanted to project some of the anger I feel toward myself onto her, so I didn't have to carry it. And there was a repetition compulsion aspect to it too - at least I'm used to anger and know how to handle it.