I e-mailed a story to my T last week, and he called me on Saturday to tell me that I am not an awful person. That my gross story did not horrify him except to the extent that he felt badly for me. He assured me I am doing the correct thing by finally telling, and I was not just "gratuitously exposing him to grossness for no good reason," (my words because that was my anxiety about telling him). So. He said I could call and ask for help during the week because he understand that I was going to have some anxiety and second guessing about finally telling.

BUT, he is out of the office the first part of this week. I have his cell phone number, but I feel calling it would be way too intrusive, particularly this late at night. I left a message with his answering service, but he may not be checking messages while he's out. I now also have his e-mail address, but I told him that I was only going to use it to send the story. He had specifically told me before that he didn't want me to e-mail before I asked about it only for the purpose of sending the story.

I have a meeting with my daughter's school tomorrow, and an important document that HAS to the Clerk of the Supreme Court of my state tomorrow. I cannot concentrate. My heart is pounding and I am periodically vomiting, followed by getting a nosebleed. This has been happening since Friday. So . . . not doing that well. Don't know if this counts as a crisis or not such that I should ask to talk to the emergency on call person. I'm not going to hurt myself. I just cannot sleep. or concentrate. or work. or sleep. or not vomit. or sleep. Did I mention I cannot sleep? I am really tired.