The state of chaos continues in my home. I think I will take my medicines and go to sleep. Perhaps, tomorrow, it will look very different to me. I may wake up feeling like it is not so impossible a task to restore order here. Sometimes I feel so confident that I can do just about anything I set my mind to doing.

But that is not my mind-set now, and I have been sore and tired today, and doing anything has seemed to require more energy than I can possibly summon up.

I know that it is very immature to wait to do things until one feels like it. That is the very thing that every depressive most needs to learn. Too long of not getting a return on one's investments can be very forceful an influence in causing one to lose heart. I am more than just lazy. I have lost heart. It will return. It always has.

Maybe, tomorrow, I will fill the bird feeders outside my windows. I love to hear them and see them.