I am coming to this thread a little late in the game. I gotta say what you called a "rant" sounded pretty coherent to me. Well, it sounded like something has gone on with you and this therapist that is NOT coherent. So I think you did a decent job of explaining what I don't think is all that understandable.

I saw a therapist over a period of 19 years, who was a nice person and whom I respected. I'm not such an idiot to stick with someone for 19 years, if the person was a jerk. I thought we held each other in high regard.

Well, I got into the worst shape of my whole life, and while I was in that shape, I succeeded in somehow getting on her last nerve . . . and . . . boy, did she ever let me know that in no uncertain terms. There I was - extremely fragile - and she went off at me like a viper. I never saw her again. Actually, I bumped into her years later in a public spot and she greeted me like a long lost buddy. I was c o n f u s e d!

I will always be confused about what happened. My point is that a therapist can do a number on your mind that is unbelievably insensitive, and the T may not even realize how impossibly cruel she/he is being. In a way, it is maybe not cruelty because the person probably doesn't think they mean you any harm. That doesn't mean it can't feel cruel and be cruel in the effect it has on you. Furthermore, I think every single one of us has a cruel streak somewhere inside, and there is no telling what set of circumstances will uncover that streak.

My T was a nice lady, nicer than most people I have ever known. But, on that last afternoon that I went to her office, she was mean to me. (I believe she thought I was being mean to her because I complained about therapy not helping me, so she thought she had to defend herself.) I was not exasperated with her, really. I was exasperated with my life, which at the time was going down the tubes. Somehow, she personalized my exasperation/frustration as deliberately directed at her. That was a lapse of professionalism on her part, IMO. I forgive her - sort of. But she did harm to me that afternoon that I did not deserve after 19 years of being her client.

How can people be so mean. I don't know - but it happens. We can get treated bad, even by a therapist. Your situation sounds worse than mine. At least I got 19 good years out of this lady. That is - 19 years of getting along nice, but the therapy really never helped me.