You know who you might be comfortable talking with more about this, nightsky. I really encourage you to work on this with those very few people you feel closest to. How about a closed chat? Maybe just being together, remembering things together, trying to connect some dots. I don't know what's up with T, but Ts can mess up--the thing it to not let it spread to you. IDK what's up, but you are top priority. Your oldest, dearest friends from PC could help you talk care of you now. I'm a new friend, but I've seen your old friends & some are wise.

Just a thought.