Co consciousness is

being able to hear your alters voices

being able to know what it going on physically when the alter is in control of the body

being able to know mentally what is going on with the alters when they are in control of the body

being able to know mentally what is going on with the alters when you the host(core) is in control of the body.

being able to communicate with your alters

being able to share the alters memories

being able to share your memories with the alters....

Some people have no co consciousness
some people have only a little bit of co consciousness
some people have alot of co consciousness

Every one has their own internal system and alters have their own ways to be. the usual way people with DID begin to understand their system and how much co consciousness they have is by going to therapy.

once in therapy DID people learn to establish more and more co consciousness with their alters. That said there is a situation where people with DID cannot establish co consciousness. with out it healing can still happen.

integration is when the alters merge back with you to form one whole person again. Sometimes it happens all at once, sometimes it happens one alter at a time, sometimes it happens with more than one at a time.

it is not a painful time physically but it can be quite confusing and emotionally upsetting for the host(core) to go from hearing voices to not hearing voices, from feeling numb to feeling a wide range of emotions, from being able to rely on dissociating and becoming aware after things have been taken care of to having to deal with your problems while fully aware.

no you dont necessarily **have** to integrate, for some it is a choice, that said for others its not a choice its something that just happens as part of the healing journey.

with me there was very little co consciousness. I could hear some voices, but could not communicate with most of the alters, I could not share the emotions, and memories fully until after integration happened to me. for me integration was not a choice. As I healed and was able to take on more and more of my own self care emotionally and physically, deal with my problems the alters that did those jobs for me merged back together with me.

During integration there was no pain, the alters were still with me just in a new way. I no longer switched into being the alters. I knew everything they had held separate from me, I could feel a full range of emotions instead of feeling numb. I felt more whole, less empty, more happy, centered, grounded. Able to do things I hadnt been able to do before because the alters were the ones that learned how to do those things not me, and now the knowledge was with in me.

After Integration it was a bit confusing at times. the Quiet was a bit stressful until I realized that normal people do have internal dialogues with their self and learned to mentally talk things out with my self, instead of expecting it to happen on its own like it used to with the alters talking between each other. I had to learn how to get in touch with myself..

example un integrated I would think about having coffee and the next thing I knew an alter would make the morning coffee. I would become aware sitting at the table with a mug of coffee in ront of me.. Integrated I had to think how do I make the coffee and stay grounded and mentally Talk my way through it, remembering how to make coffee. the memory was there because the alter was merged with me, I just had to find the way to access it like normal people did, by taking it one step at a time. now I make coffee every morning just like normal people do, I dont have to talk my self through the memory of how to do it because its now a habit.

If integration had been a choice for me I would have still done it. I did not like being DID. I didnt like having voices in my head, losing time, having my bosses fire me because I went from an adult to a child sitting at my desk crying because I suddenly didnt know how to do my job, I didnt like waking up in strange towns, locations and not knowing how I got there and how to dget home, having to call the police for help in getting me home again, I didnt like all the worry I put my wife through all those years she and I were dating, living together before I was integrated. I didnt like people looking at me strangely because I would be talking out loud to people they could not see, I did not like becoming aware and finding I was restrained in some ER because I had been prostituting and got busted and turned into a violent alter, I didnt like not knowing what day it was, what time it was, I didnt like being treated as if I was crazy, people not wanting to rent from me because I was unable to take care of the places....some people may see their having all these things happen and more as DID is fun , a gift,...but for me it was nothing but problems 24/7.

on top of that my chosen career was in the mental health field. My opinion is that a therapist cant be any good for their clients if they are having DID problems their self. therapists listen to triggering, upsetting things from their clients..how safe isit for example if one of their clients is telling about a problem they have and suddenly the therapist switches into a violent alter or a crying child alter, or an alter that laughs..while the client is telling about losing their job or being abused... what ever. a therapist cant do their jobs if they are constantly switching into alters because they are triggered by their clients words...

in order to be the best I can be for my clients I had to gain control and remain in control. So one way or the other I would have integrated, either by natural process of healing or through choice.