You know, I've found myself stressing over the same thing. I'm thinking about telling the other person, "I need you to know...I have abandonment issues, so here's how I feel when you...." and see how they respond. You'll probably either find out that she has issues of her own or had no idea she was upsetting you or your issues may bother her. Hopefully you can have a conversation about it whichever way it goes and see how it can be resolved.