Knocking of 20 years for being a child and a teenager with an unresponsive family, for 36 years I was an "unsucessful" biploar til I finally had the do or die big crash at age 56. How stupid I was to think other people went through what I did knowing or having an inkling that something didn't quite feel right.Within a week of being put on meds the world of the sane opened up to me and my learning curve about bipolarism was straight up. I had to learn my triggers... stress and lack of sleep... and how they impacted me precipitated another horrific low before i got it.
I now have insight, awareness and acceptance and have learned to take care of myself. I know there is no cure but so long as I manage my triggers and medications I am normal. Have found that occasionally the meds have to be tweaked but am so glad to be a normal human being. This is not to say by any means that I have been unscathed by the wounds of bipolarism. After being dx'd I was furious cause my life could have been so different if I had been dx'd as a child. But back then children didnt have bp and my parent wouldn't have taken me to get help
anyway. I had a lot of issues to work through and I can honestly say I have forgiven myself for things I did and my parents for what they did not do. It has been a lot of work and tears but i am now comfortable with my life and feeling normal.