You need to ask yourself.....Is having one night stands wise. Have you thought about the consequences of your one night stands? Have you thought about how having casual sex in your one night stands might effect you when you do find the person you may want to settle down with & have a real relationship with? Or, if you get pregnant?.....then you have a baby to care for or you have an abortion. Either is something you live with for the rest of your life.....there are studies that show that having abortions effect women negatively long after the abortion just as having a miscarriage effects women long after the miscarriage. My mother was feeling guilty about an abortion she had when I was 5 years old....she was 80 (many years after the abortion she had) & was dying of cancer when the guilt hit her again. There have also been many studies done that prove that the family union does make a huge difference on the children. The studies have proven that having good role models in both mother & father are very important in the development of the children & how they will relate in their possible marriages or lack of desire to get involved in a marriage.

Its important to be honest about what a one night stand is & what it isn't. It is NOT LOVE. Love is something that grows between 2 people & it takes years to really grow into true emotion between 2 people & takes patience & work to develop. Love is not something that is there when two people first meet....that is known as lust....not love. Be honest about what a one night stand really is, having sex with someone who is convenient, lust, a filling of one's own sexual desire....but IT IS NOT LOVE. Don't fool yourself with the terms.

If this is what you want out of life.....then it's a moral choice you make of how you choose to live your life. There are many people with BPD who choose to save themselves for their marriage. It is only society in the recent years that has pushed the belief that sex outside of marriage is ok. Yes, your BPD symptoms may make it easier for you to choose one night stands....but it's not a caused by your having BPD.

The important thing however to remember is that no matter what your choice is....it DOESN'T make you an AWFUL person. We all make bad choices of one kind of another in our lives.....that's just a human thing.....but bad choices don't make any of us an AWFUL person....it just means that we make bad choices.

It's important however for us to make our choices educated ones based on the facts about the choices we are making.....when we can do that & still feel satisfied with our choice then at least we have done our homework & can honestly base our choices on what we truly believe is right for us even if the choice would be wrong for someone else. It's when we don't make educated choices based on the facts that we fail ourselves in our decision making process.....whatever our decision choice is in the end.

I have always found that if I want people to respect the decisions I make, I need to base them on the facts. They may not agree with the decision I come up with based on the facts, but they can't argue that they aren't based on my analysis of the facts that apply to the decision being made & you can feel good about the decisions you make.

If you are really questioning your one night stands.....apply the facts to the situation....not just your emotions & decide for yourself if they are really the right thing for you or not.