I've started to notice that I'm the kind of person who needs to be in emotional pain. I don't know why, but whenever I start to feel calm, good, or happy -- before i know it, i find something to feel bad about, worry about, stress about again. It has taken a long time to figure out that it's a pattern, and that i am causing it. But what i don't understand is why would i do that to myself? I mean, it feels awful to be constantly stressed out, worried, sad, anxious, etc. So why would i make myself suffer that way? What could be the reason for me not to let myself enjoy my life and feel good and happy?