Quote:
Originally Posted by WantingtoHeal
Can I ask what her explanation was of your T being the focus? Or is that too personal ?
I'm just in awe that you were able to say these things. I worry that my T might get embarrassed and fall out of her chair if I said anything like this stuff. Really, I worry more about her than me.
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Here is the link where you can find the whole process I went through.
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showt...=219464&page=8
This is what happened the day I told her:
After much agonizing, squirming in my chair, pacing the floor, sitting back down and turning my chair away from my therapist, I finally told her. I was very choppy with my words and she had to piece them together to figure out exactly what I was saying. I asked her, "Do you really get what I am saying?" She then gave me some of her thoughts about what she thought I was trying to tell her.
She was pretty close, but not exactly. I finally said, "YOU are the main character." She knew what I meant when I said that part. I wasn't looking at her, so I am not sure if she was shocked or not. She didn't act shocked. Of course, therapists are trained to keep that poker face no matter what we say to them!
She explained that she was not surprised about it given my past and the issues I was working through in therapy. She explained that she is the most stable person I have in my life right now. She represents security for me. She is the one that I confide my most private things with, so why would it be odd that she shows up in a sexual fantasy? Sex is one of the most intimate things that we experience. We only share that with people we trust. I trust her.
She was so casual about it. I told her that sometimes I think of her in very demeaning (sexual) ways. She said this was more than likely my way of 'getting back at her' because I am angry with her at times. She makes me face things I don't want to look at. Demeaning her makes me feel powerful and not so vulnerable.
Isn't this weird that she comes up with this? I think she is right because it makes a lot of sense! I hope that by talking with her more and more about this, the erotic transference will go away!