I have a session later today. I contact her ish. We email to book appointments and occasionally I will put a small bit of "this is my thoughts" but I don't know. I feel like I don't want the connection. It's safer with her on the other side of the wall - I hate being vulnerable and I certainly don't want to talk about this. I just want to say "hey, I'm thinking about having pizza for dinner and the weather's nice. See ya later"