This is a cross post from Neuro Talk, but I wanted to see what you think of this. I'm using snippets of my post from there under this same user name, just in case someone notices the duplication, I wanted to put that out there.

These are the most relevant facts at the moment. I called and talked to the admissions coordinator at the local adolescent inpatient psych and she said that if my daughter is asking for this kind of help, I really should consider it, but, part of my trepidation and "unsureness" has to do with the fact that I was hospitalized between the ages of 12 and 15 no less than five or six times and I was not sick, my mom just used it as a disciplinary tool, this was like 1987-89 and honestly only the very last one or two times was I actually a danger to myself, but I LEARNED all about suicide attempts from my previous stays...also learned about drug use from those who were dual diagnosis and I had never been exposed to drugs before that, but still forced to attend N.A. meetings, etc. Just...I was in much worse shape after hospital stays than after, but again, I was not sick. If anything, I had depression that intensive outpatient care could have probably treated.

Anyway, My daughter is 16 and has had an obvious anxiety problem that's been identifiable for at least 5 years. She was put on Zoloft at first and that did seem to help, but at the same time had been diagnosed with ADHD. She was failing all of her classes at the time, she was in 7th grade and by the next quarter of school was passing all of her classes and seemed like a much happier child. She did "ok" the rest of middle school and when she hit high school started having difficulties again.

Background is that my mother has bipolar with rapid cycling which has become worse and worse over the years because she only takes the medications that she wants to take, she won't take the ones that do or that she thinks do cause her to gain weight. She also takes Adderal so that she can continue to lose weight, so you can imagine that she's a mess. She also abuses prescription drugs, which makes things even worse for her.

Given that my mother is that way, you can understand why my daughter has asked with fear in her eyes if SHE could be bipolar "too" like grandma. I have told her that even if it's possible...and it is...that grandma does not take care of herself and IF my daughter has BPD, we will get her the treatment that she needs and if she follows a plan of care, she will be okay.

She was seeing a therapist AND a psychiatrist in the past year and the psych was a child/adolescent psych. I feel like we wasted a lot of time there because he only switched her from Zoloft to Celexa and didn't spend much time talking with me about my concerns or us together and basically said that she was doing poorly in school partially because she doesn't WANT to do the work. He totally dismissed that the reason we were referred to him is that her anxiety level and sensory overload in school just hearing other kids talk in class was to the point where she told the school counselor that she thinks about hurting people and she elaborated to me that she had ideations at that time of even hurting her family. Well, when we talked to her therapist for advice, she did not feel like she needed "immediate" emergency help, but that we needed to tell the psych. She also has rapid mood swings and periods of what I can only describe as mania and will talk a lot, be happier, be productive in things she wants to do like writing stories, drawing, well, anything but school work, but then she'll crash and be depressed, moody, weepy. She is constantly yelling at her brother and me and her dad for making too much noise, certain kinds of noises, etc.

She also had to discontinue her ADHD meds last year because it became apparent that they were causing her anxiety to go through the roof.

She had chronic mono where the worst symptoms lasted for about a year and have been getting better for the past year, but she still has fatigue, sleeps a lot and now her teachers are asking her and us if she has depression, they are worried about her.

Allll of that to ask...would it be appropriate to take her to a good, somewhat local (hour away) psychiatric inpatient adolescent program for evaluation for intake? She approached me this evening and told me that another teacher asked her today if she's depressed, that she has too much anxiety in class and can't stand to be around her friends and is always yelling at them, etc. When I told her that I will see what I can do maybe getting her in with a new psych, also asking if maybe she would be open to going to a hospital for maybe a few days where they could evaluate and get her meds started and correct, she didn't hesitate and immediately said YES, I want to go away for a little bit, I think I need that.

I am concerned that just making appointments with a new psych and starting down that road is just going to be another time waster since it's not as intensive as I think she needs and we need everything evaluated at once to get her on track. She's failing every class and it's affecting her self esteem, but she can't seem to dig out of the hole. For instance, she has an 18% in English, her strongest subject. She cannot go on like this.

I need support. I will disclose that I was hospitalized as a pre-adolescent/adolescent from ages 12-14 at least four times because I was just a behavioral issue and my mom didn;t know how to deal with me, I had so many family problems and I was medicated improperly and I do carry some of that baggage with me, so I admit to being reluctant to just "put her somewhere", but I recognize that that's MY baggage and I am willing to do what it takes to get my girl better.

I could take her out of school, and I know that alone will be hard for her because it was such a big deal for her to get in to this school because it's a visual artsy early college program and she's such a gifted visual artist. The thing is that she will lose that, BUT she's already losing it because she is failing.

I absolutely have asked her what she wants to do because I agree that with her age, she should have a good amount of input and choice in her diagnosis and treatment. She is open to seeing a new psych or short term hospitalization.

I wish she had the motivation and focus to commit to an online school, but unless I hold her hand every step, at THIs time c I don't know if she can/will with her focus issues. But again, she's already doing poorly in school. We are currently about two months, maybe a little less? From the end of the school year and my hope (I realize this sounds selfish, but I assure you it's love) is that if we use the steps the teachers gave us in the parent teacher conference they insisted on this week, maybe she can pull it out and at least finish the semester with SOME credit since she's not going to get ANY for her time the way things are going.

It's really hard, I admit to be mom AND advocate because I really don't know what will help and what will hurt as far as trying to tie up ends.

So...now I have to decide, how will I find a good psych? The ones we've been to over the years have been unable to help in any significant way and they were referrals from current care providers.

Honestly,I'm feeling like these child psychiatrists that we've been dealing with aren't equipped and I just honestly worry we'll just spin our wheels even trying to FiND an outpatient diagnosis and treatment plan.

No, he has not been diagnosed and honestly, given how sick my mom stays from denial of treatment and added drug abuse, I WISH I were off base, but even he seems to be convinced she is bipolar or something very similar.

I have told her not to be afraid, she does NOT have to stay sick "like grandma" if we get her dx and tx early and well.

Anyway, I may try to look at options for outpatient before seriously considering impatient if possible. We really are very close and besides her not feeling well, having her issues, things are good at home and I don't want her to HAVE to be gone if its not necessary.

The harm to others has not come up since we addressed it with the psych and therapist about a year ago and I've asked get about it. If she's being straight up, which she usually is, she's not having those thoughts at this point, but who knows when/if that comes up again??

Sigh. As her mother, I SO want to do what it takes. Where is the parenting manual I was promised?? Especially the one for special needs children???