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I only want to comment on a few things. You are young. You have your life ahead of you. You have prayed but you said he doesn't answer. I believe you either aren't listening to him, or he is giving you your answer in a way besides you hearing his voice. Heck, your message from him could come from someone on here that responds to you. Maybe he is using me. I am a spiritual person. I'm not a bible thumbing sitting in the pew every sunday person, but I have a relationship with Him. And I can recognize when He is speaking to me through someone else. The answers to my questions come through various people. The most startling is when it comes from someone I don't even know. Just listen and you will get your answer.
Don't feel bad about not knowing what you want to do as far as majoring in college. You might not know this, but the majority of the people in this world, they don't even know what they want to do until they get a little older. I don't know too many High School people who said what they wanted to do, and followed through. People change their minds. When I was in college, the people I knew changed majored or didn't even know what they wanted to be.
Moving along. I am a female. And I used to be so timid and shy all throughout school. But when I went away to college, it was a whole other world! I loved it! I came out of my shell, made friends, began to really put myself out there social wise, and I really came into my own. I literally became a whole new person after school. People who I see now that i haven't seen since High School are amazed at how much I have came out of my shell and the person I became.
Don't be scared or shy of people. They are only people. Is it fear of rejection that has you shy? If it is, the worse thing people can do is tell you "no", if they do, keep it moving and you will find someone who thinks the world of you. Step outside of your boundaries. Be open to new things. I really believe that once you go away to college, this will help you. Don't be afraid to start conversations with people, they are only people.
The most important thing I can tell you is this. YOU are what is holding you back. YOU. Your fears, insecurities, worries, it's all you. But the good thing is, it's something that can be changed. Once I freed my mind of my insecurities, being worried about what people think about me, being worried about being rejected, worried what my parents would think of me, I became a new person. I'm so proud of myself because I came a long way.
You can do it. Get out of your parents house and try to meet new people. Socialize.
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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, & Wisdom to know the difference.
To live is to suffer, and to survive is to find meaning in that suffering
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