Dear T,

Am I really that bad? It was like we were playing role reversal...I listened as the therapist & you talked as the client. I had a specific plan on how I needed this session to go, but I just feel like it has gone to waste. Every time I try to be open its like you take control of the conversation & I end up shutting down. I needed to talk about how I've been feeling & I felt like I couldn't do that today. You rambled on & on & on today. The things you talked about had absolutely nothing to do with what I tried to talk about. You made me feel bad about how I was feeling. If it was so easy for me to control my thoughts & feelings...I would. I don't mean to cause my own suffering, but it seems like you think I'm not trying to change. Although I feel this way, I'm not blaming you. I blame myself & maybe I'm a bad client. Maybe I'm not ready for therapy & I should stop coming. I'm thinking about counseling our next appointment...we'll see